My New Blanky

Well hi there everybuddy its bin a wile! Mummy has not bin home very much lately. Daddy sez Mummy is halping my Granpaw with sumthang importent. I hope it is not his blog! Mummy is sposed to halp ME with MY blog!!

But wun day Mummy bringed home a speshull suprize jest fer me!! Dang!! Lookit wut I getted!

Mummy called it a baby kwilt. Hey I am not a baby!!

Mummy sed hay Dozer I maked this myself so do not tare it up okay?

Okay okay I will not tare it up. But I luv it soooo much I thinks I will give it sum luv nibbuls.

Nom nom nom

Mmmm it smells like my Mummy!!

Then Mummy sed Dozer it taked me a munth to make that thang so stop chewing on it!!

Wut? I herd sumwun say treet. Did you sez treet?

Well Mummy insisted she did not say the werd treet but I am purty shore I herd it. Anyways I will have lots and lots of time to nibbul on my blanky wen Mummy goes back to Granpaws howse tomorrow.

She sez it will jest be wun more week and then she will be home and have sum time fer me and my blog. Wich is good cause I miss my blog pals!!

Oh yeah Pee Ess Happy Forth of July everybuddy!!

Kin you jest turn the uther way so I kin nibbul this thang sum more?

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Rainy Day Pakaje!!

Well today I getted a misterius pakaje in the male. But it did not stay misterius fer long! Mummy sed it is frum our loverly frend Princess the Pit Bull!

Dang its a big box!!

Dang its a big box!!

It wuz good timing cause today it wuz very very rainy outsides and we could not go out. Also SUMBUDDY has been eating up all our toys and treets so I wuz reely hoping mebbe there would be sumthang fun in this pakaje.

Eh? I fewt wike someone was bwaming me for somefing just now.

Eh? I fewt wike someone was bwaming me for somefing just now.

I wanted to open the boks but Mummy sed no Dozer let me do it this time cause I have a feeling you will be having enuff fun with the stuff insides the boks and I want to have a little fun myself. So I letted her open the boks.

Princess gived us this nice letter inside the boks. Holy moley I getted so eksited wile Mummy wuz reeding the letter cause obveeusly there wuz a ton of stuff in that boks!!

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Well Princess is rite I have never had a bully stik before! Princess wuz very nice to send me a pitcher of her eating a bully stik so I would know how to do it. I sampulled the pitcher a little bit but Mummy sed I must lern by looking not by doing.

It duz not tayst like a bully stik...

It duz not tayst like a bully stik...

Mummy wuz gonna start showing me all the goodys in the boks but I jest could not pay atenshun. I smelled that bully stik!!! So she sed okay we could have the bully stiks.

But FURST she sawed these bandanas. Now let me tell you most of our bandanas are purty stoopid looking. But these wuz sum reel nice bandanas!! She sed bandanas furst then bully stiks so we sed okay okay.

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Here is mine. It is bloo and I think it looks very manly. Also it sez woof wich is wut I do!

This is my Gee Cue shot!!

This is my Gee Cue shot!!

Princess piked out a very nice bandana fer Star and gess wut it is pink fer a gurl and it has stars fer Star! It sez Miss USA and I am shore that is cause she wins the Big Butt Contest every yeer.

Ah! I am a Lady.

Ah! I am a Lady.

THEN we getted to the bully stiks at last! And let me tell you that wuz the bestest thang I have ever eated in my hole life ever.

Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaa

Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaa

Star also abanduned her dignitee fer the bully stik.

OMG GIVE IT TO MEEEE!!!!!

OMG GIVE IT TO MEEEE!!!!!

Yeaaaaa sooo gooooood.....

Yeaaaaa sooo gooooood.....

Nom nom nom sure wish this whole thing would fit in my mouth nom nom nom

Nom nom nom sure wish this whole thing would fit in my mouth nom nom nom

So wile we wuz chowing down on these amazing bully stiks Mummy decided to let Dubby play with the thangs wut Princess getted fer him. Those thangs wuz a tye and a skweeky futball!

I am the wowld's cutest sawawyman!!

I am the wowld's cutest sawawyman!!

Blue sixty foaw hut hut hut!!!

Blue sixty foaw hut hut hut!!!

IMG_0333smallerIMG_0327smallerMummy taked this chance to make sum reely cute pitchers of that awful awful Dubby to go to his adopshun place so mebbe he will be adopted. Wut do you thinks of these pitchers?

There wuz still more in the boks as we finded out after coming back frum our bully stiks! There wuz this green aleen that is now the favrite toy fer Star and Dubby to tug on.

I wiw destwoy you!!

I wiw destwoy you!!

And there wuz tennis balls wut wuz sposed to be mint but they jest tasted like delishuss to me.

Throw it throw it throw it throw it!!!

Throw it throw it throw it throw it!!!

Star also liked the tennis balls very much. She made sum parts of one disapear!

Don't worry. You'll see the other half of it in about eight hours.

Don't worry. You'll see the other half of it in about eight hours.

Yes folks thats rite Star is aktually smiling in that pitcher!!! Aieee!!!!

And last but not leest there wuz my very furst ever Jolly Ball!

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At furst I wuz reluktent to play with this cause everybuddy knows pink is fer gurls. But then I thinked I should prolly be a little more open minded so I played with it jest a little bit.

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The end rezult wuz not wut I ekspected. It did not stay too round.

I jest played with it a little bit I sware!!

I jest played with it a little bit I sware!!

Mummy sez that Daddy will have to make it round agin and then only Star gets to play with it frum now on. See!! I knowed it. Pink reely IS fer gurls.

Well me and Star and Dubby all say THANKS YOU VERY MUCH PRINCESS fer sending us all these fun toys and the bully stiks. Also Mummy would likes to say THANKS YOU VERY MUCH PRINCESS too cause she is sooo happy that there wuz sumthang fer us to do on this icky rainy day!

The End of Octopussy

Well I have not seened my spy stuffie Octopussy fer a wile so I went looking fer him.

Pleeze cover baby dawg eyeballs fer this nekst pitcher. The dubble ajent life seems to have catched up with Octopussy.

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Poor poor Octopussy who has dun this to you?!?

"It was the puppy. I swear."

"Look, I'm just sleeping here. It's a coincidence."

My New Toy: Octopussy

Well I suppose Mummy is trying to make up for working so much cause she bringed home a new toy.

But then I finded out it wuz not frum Mummy at all. It wuz frum Gramma!! Yes thats rite folks my Gramma luvs me more then my Mummy duz!

Here is my new toy named Octopussy.

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I knows I knows you are thinking aw dang that is sum reel cute toy! But aktually Octopussy is a deveeus dubble ajent.

At furst Octopussy wuz working fer Mummy. His asignment wuz to win over my hart so I would forgives her fer working all the times. So we hads a little “talk.”

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During this frendlee conversashun I bringed Octopussy over to my way of thinking so now he is on my side not Mummys.

Together we is plotting sum skemes to git Star out of the way fer good. Since I have a bad leg rite now and Octopussy has lots of legs I am counting on Octopussy to do the leg werk in these skemes no pun intended.

Umm nuthing to see here jest move along.

Umm nuthing to see here jest move along.

My New Toy… or Mebbe Treet?

Well hi there and welcome to anuther riviting episode of My New Toy!!

Mummy recently bringed home this fine new toy: Bone Toy!

WOW!! Wut is that thang?!?

WOW!! Wut is that thang?!?

I have never had a Bone Toy before cause I have bad alerjies to most thangs wut are not my speshul dawg food. But since I am having alerjies alreddy and I am on sum alerjie medisin too Mummy thinked it is prolly not a big deel. Besides this bone is very natcheral and not preservatived.

But beleeve it or not I did not reely like this Bone Toy at first.

Ermm thats okay Mummy kin I jest have wun of those peenut butter treets wut Daisy gived me?

Ermm thats okay Mummy kin I jest have wun of those peenut butter treets wut Daisy gived me?

So Mummy gived the Bone Toy to Star. OH THE OUTRAJE!!! OH THE INJUSTISS!!!

Mmm, yes. I like this just fine, thanks.

Mmm, yes. I like this just fine, thanks.

Wen I sawed that Star wuz eating MY Bone Toy I wuz very upset. So after a wile Mummy gived it back to me.

I changed my mind Mummy give it back to me and I will eat it even if it kills me!!

I changed my mind Mummy give it back to me and I will eat it even if it kills me!!

It is a reel bone so at first I thinked it wuz reely a treet. Cause you are sposed to eat treets but you are not sposed to eat toys. Most bones I eat but this bone was NOT possible to eat!!

Nom nom nom

Nom nom nom

Nom nom nom?!?

Nom nom nom?!?

Am I doin this rite? It is not gettin enny smaller.

Am I doin this rite? It is not gettin enny smaller.

Yep thats rite folks take it frum me sumtimes a bone is not a treet it is a TOY!

Mummy sez she is pleezed at how kwiet I am now that I am spending all my time chewing on Bone Toy. It is troo I am very amused by Bone Toy but I still wish I could go outsides and play fetch!

My Git Well Prezent frum Daisy!

Well yesterday I getted anuther pakaje and gess wut! It wuz frum my luv Daisy!

I wuz so eksited Mummy had trubble taking pitchers. Well geeze Mummy who cares bout pitchers jest open the boks alreddy!!!!

The boks smells good.

I will help you open it faster Mummy.

Daisy writed me a real nice letter that made me blush jest a little bit when Mummy red it to me.

I cannot reed it but it smells reel nice.

I cannot reed it but it smells reel nice.

Inside the boks wuz sum reely yummy treets that I have never had before called Claudias Canine Cuisine Cookies. They comed in a box and the rapper sed I Am Luved Uncondishunally!!! Oh my Daisy I am blushing even more now.

Honestly Mummy how does you funcshun?? Let me help you with this.

Honestly Mummy how does you funcshun?? Let me help you with this.

Enuff looking. Gimme!!!

Enuff looking. Gimme!!!

Thanks you.

Thanks you.

Wunce agin Star rooined my party.

Yoink!

Yoink!

Yummers.

Yummers.

I wuld have been happy with jest the treets but Daisy had anuther suprize in the boks!!

It wuz a PIG BALL THAT SKWEEKS!!

Wow Daisy reely is my gurlfrend cause she knows eksactly wut I like. Plus this pig wuz pink so it reminded me of her. I falled in luv with it.

Pleeze put treet and pig in mouth at same time ok thanx.

Pleeze put treet and pig in mouth at same time ok thanx.

And Star rooined my party agin.

YOINK!!!

YOINK!!!

I am not shore wether Mummy wuz sticking up fer me or wether she wuz mad that Star stomped on her foot wile comitting her evel crime but regardless of the reeson Mummy tolled Star that Pig Toy wuz MINE. Thanks Mummy.

In yer face Star.

In yer face Star.

And wile I wuz still enjoying my Pig Toy and delishus treets Mummy pulled out anuther thang frum the boks. It wuz BLING!!

This blak bone with dimonds will be perfekt on my new collar!

This blak bone with dimonds will be perfekt on my new collar!

Wow I have never had bling before! Mummy sed she would put it on my collar as soon as she could.

Deer Daisy thanks you so much fer these grate prezents. I cannot promiss to treshure them always cause I thinks the treets wuld not last ferever and the Pig Toy is alreddy missing an ear NOT MY FAULT but I will try to treshure them fer as long as reesonable. And I reckon the bling will stay around fer a long time if Mummy has any thang to say bout it. Luv Dozer.

My New(ish) Toy: Skweeky Ball

Well before I hurted my leg I wuz gonna show you this My New Toy: Skweeky Ball!

I cannot play fetch with this toy ennymore until I am all betters. And that is gonna be months sez Mummy. But I will show this toy to you anyways.

My new favoritest toy!

My new favoritest toy!

You are prolly saying hey Dozer wate jest a sekund! That looks like a boring old tennis ball to me!

Well there are two thangs difrent about this ball. First it is bigger then a tennis ball. And sekund it skweeks! Here I will prove it. Over and over and over and over.

Now that I am spending lots of time doing NUTHING AT ALL this toy is still fun cause I can lie down and skweek it over and over until Mummy screams. Yes Mummy now you are feeling my paine too!!! Hahahah!!!

Hi everyone, this is me, Star! Hey I have a surprise for you! I am famous! But the Lady says I must wait until tomorrow to tell you about it. See you later! Love, Star.