Happy Birfday to ME!

Well hi everybuddy gess wut this munth is?? It is my birfday!

Oooh! A speshull birfday hat fer me!

I am now TIN yeers old. TIN is a very very Big Number wich is perfekt cause I am a very very Big Dawg!

Fer my birfday Mummy mades me a very speshull birfday cake. She sed Dozer I wanted to makes you a reel cake but you cannot eat those kinds of foodies cause of yer alerjees.

So my speshull cake is mades of carits punkin and green beens!

Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme

Nom nom nom!!

Star getted sum too even tho it wuz not her birfday.

Gross, what are these green things in here?

Nobuddy noes wen her birfday is or even how menny yeers she is. But Mummy sez we will give her a speshull cake on the day called Gotcha Day wich fer Star is in the cold winter times.

Get this off of me. Please. Now.

Speshull foodies

Well hi everybuddy! Its bin a wile! No dont wurry I am not ded heh heh. I am jest reely enjoyin my semireetiremint tho I do miss my blog buddys.

Here is wut I have bin doin in my semireetiremint!

Helpin Mummy do her wurk

Star is not halping shes jest in it fer the cookys

Makin a big mess with my stuffy pig

Makin a big mess with my stuffy dino and rollin in it

Sleepin in my stuffy dino fuzz

Ooo I thinks I getted sum stuffy in my ear

Diskoverin wut is inside my Kong Wubba. It wuz a jiant tennis ball!

Well it has not bin all fun and games in my semireetiremint! A very bad thang happined to me too. It wuz ALERJEES and a NEW STAFF infekshun!!! Aieeeeeee!

Mummy taked me to a new doktor wut knows a lot about alerjees. That doktor gived me lots of medisin to take. And then she sed Dozer you gets to have sum speshull foodies fer a wile!!

At furst I wuz reely egsited to git sum speshull foodies. Hahaha in yer face Star I am speshull!!!

I see ghosts. That's special too.

Well it terned out the foodies wuz reely reely yukky! It wuz stinky and it tasted sooo bads.

Ugh this foodies is yukky!!!

I did not want to eat it. I wanted to eat Stars yummy foodies wich wuz my old foodies. But Mummy sed Im sorry Dozer but you cannot eat ennythang else but this speshull foodies!

So I did not eat ennythang at all fer lots of days. Then Mummy sed Dozer I wuz hoping you would eat yer food but now I must play durty! And she played a mind trik on me and I am ashamed to say it werked.

Furst she sed hay Star come here and git sum foodies!

Well I may not like this foodies but that shore dont meen Im gonna give it to Star no way no how.

No Star you may not eat my yukky yukky foodies!


Wut the hey ho?!?!?! Thats MY foodies!!!

Scuse me Star but NO that is MINE!

Ugh nom nom nom so gross nom nom nom

Wutever it takes to keeps Star frum gettin MY food!

OK I gots this Mummy Ill take it frum here.

Ah, poop, he's eating it all.

OK done! None fer Star ha ha ha!!!

Well Mummy sed ok good job Dozer but I does not want to sit here and make you jellus every meeltime so I am gonna think up a better way.

So nekst meeltime gess wut!?! I getted punkin in my foodies!! Punkin is jest the yummyest thang ever and Mummy sed the doktor sed it wuz okay fer me. My foodies smelled good insted of yukky so I eated it all.

Punkin mmmmm yeah!!!

Punkin makes it all betters.

Even Star getted punkin in her foodies wich I think is not fare cause she has yummy foodies alreddy.

Stars bowl likking tekneek

So ennyway thats wut I have bin doing in my semireetiremint!

Coming soon is my burthday and I will be TEN yeers old wich is a very distinguished age if I does say so myselfs. Mummy sez this is a big burthday fer me so she is gonna throw me a party wich will be my very furst party ever! But she sez I will not git enny treets cause of my alerjees! Well wut kind of party is it without spesull treets?!?

Hay everybuddy I hopes you have a HAPPY HOWLOWEEN!!!

Baby dawgs everyware

Well hi everybuddy it has bin a loooong time!

It is not my falt it is Mummys falt. If you may remembur we had a gest named Nancy who had sum parasites in her tummy.

Well them parasites camed out and then Mummy was crazy bizzy cause them parasites wuz reel messy and noisy and stuff.

I tolled Mummy hey jest dont feed them and they will goes away! But Nancy feeded them so they hanged around.

Them parasites growed up into baby dawgs. Or so I am tolled. I did not see them much cause they had their very own room. It wuz full of TOYS!!! Mummy sed I could not go in thar cause I would rooin all the toys. Pffft ware did she git that idea?? 

Jest a fyoo days ago them baby dawgs all leaved the howse. Mummy sez they wuz all adopted.

Well this story has a very sad ending cause you know wut happined nekst? Mummy went back to werk agin!! OMG Mummy why doesnt you luv me?!?

Summer Daze Makes Me Feel Fine

Well its summer times here in the hot fire land of Teksus! And you kno wut that meens–sun and sun and sun.

Star luvs to sun sun sun her fat butt.

Warmin up fer the full sun.

Foster dawg Nancy has a big butt jest like Star! In yer face Star literully!! Hahaha!!

Why howdy thar Mummy kin I intrest you in sum fetch??

Ever sinse my surjery in the last summer times I have not bin alowed to play fetch. But today I wuz determind to git Mummy to throw my Ring Toy wich I luv!

Less kamra more fetchin pleeze Mummy.

Star likes to sleep in the hot hot sun fer reesuns no wun kin unnerstand.

Mebbe if I lay down you will throw this toy fer me rite?

Wut is the deel with you stikin yer butt in everywuns face Nancy? Cant you see I am tryin to play fetch here??

I wuz not havin too much luk gittin Mummy to throw my toy. But that did not stop me frum being kyute as kyute kin be!!

Hellooooo I am bein kyute over here!! Mummy lookit me!!

I am jest a little bit tired of followin you round Mummy. I will jest rest here a minnit.

Star!! You shameless hussy dawg!!! Cuver up!!

You kno that is gonna hert if it burns Star.

I gess wen you is bloted with parasites it is hard to reech yer butt.

Hi thar! Im still waitin fer you to throw this thang...

Yep still watin. I kin wate all day dont wurry. You IS gonna throw it rite?

Well you kno wut? Mummy did NOT throw my toy! Not even wunce!! Ooohh my hart wuz brokin!

And then she sed an awful thang. She sed well I thinks Nancy has had enuff hot hot sun fer now. Its time to go insides!

Oh my, yes, I would appreciate that.

Wut?!?! But... but... Mummy you did not THROW my toy!!

And that wuz the story of my day every day this hole week! How wuz yer week? Wuz it better then mine??

Wut is RONG with Mummy?!?

WELL despite my recent rousing speech aginst enny more foster dawgs look at this.

Ummm... hello...

OMG wut is this?!? Here I thinked thangs were gonna be grate with Mummy home and she wuld be lovin me and huggin me and kissin me and telling me I am a Very Good Dawg all the times!! Insted she is worryin bout this stoopid dawg all the times.

And no this dawg is not Rosie bak agin. This is a new dawg wut looks kinda like Rosie. Her name is Nancy.

Now you may notiss that Nancy unlike all the uther foster dawgs is not a mangey gross thang.

But do not be deceeved. This dawg has a diseese that is much much worse. Jest look!! I have drawed on this pitcher to show you!

Yes folks that is rite this dawg has sum very big parasites!! Enny day now those parasites will burst forth frum her tummy and they will turn into even MORE foster dawgs! AIEEEEE!! It is my wurst nitemare!!!

Im keepin my eye on you Nancy.

Ennyways I will be bak soon with a reel post that is about ME and not stoopid foster dawgs! Look forwurd to it okay!!

Whar is Rosie?

Well folks as you may or may not remember (cause who cares bout foster dawgs reely?) we had an awful mangey foster dawg named Rosie here fer jest a little bit in last winter time.

Rosie wuz adopted in jest a few weeks wich is like a rekord fer a mangey dawg but Mummy sed it is cause Rosie is not a pit bull. Rosie is a Boston Terror wich is related to a pit bull but very small and fer sum reeson peeple like Boston Terrors much more.

Anyways this is wut Rosie looked like wen we started to foster her. Icky icky icky.

And then Rosie getted a new Mummy and Daddy and a little wile ago they sended us this pitcher of Rosie. They luv her soooo much wich is good cause I dont want her back thanks ennyway.

Hay Rosie lookin good!! And good riddance!!

I am happy cause we have no foster dawgs rite now and it is kwiet here. I am shore it wont be long before we git anuther wun tho. Now that Mummy has leaved her job I have catched her scanning the list of fosterabull dawgs a lot. Noooooo!!!! Go git yer job back Mummy!!!

Reed my lips NO NEW FOSTER DAWGS!!!

My New Blanky

Well hi there everybuddy its bin a wile! Mummy has not bin home very much lately. Daddy sez Mummy is halping my Granpaw with sumthang importent. I hope it is not his blog! Mummy is sposed to halp ME with MY blog!!

But wun day Mummy bringed home a speshull suprize jest fer me!! Dang!! Lookit wut I getted!

Mummy called it a baby kwilt. Hey I am not a baby!!

Mummy sed hay Dozer I maked this myself so do not tare it up okay?

Okay okay I will not tare it up. But I luv it soooo much I thinks I will give it sum luv nibbuls.

Nom nom nom

Mmmm it smells like my Mummy!!

Then Mummy sed Dozer it taked me a munth to make that thang so stop chewing on it!!

Wut? I herd sumwun say treet. Did you sez treet?

Well Mummy insisted she did not say the werd treet but I am purty shore I herd it. Anyways I will have lots and lots of time to nibbul on my blanky wen Mummy goes back to Granpaws howse tomorrow.

She sez it will jest be wun more week and then she will be home and have sum time fer me and my blog. Wich is good cause I miss my blog pals!!

Oh yeah Pee Ess Happy Forth of July everybuddy!!

Kin you jest turn the uther way so I kin nibbul this thang sum more?

Reel Eggs

Well today I lerned sumthang noo and so did Mummy.

I lerned that sumtimes an egg is not reely an egg. And Mummy lerned that I will eat ennythang wut looks like an egg.

Here I wuz jest enjoying a nice fine day outsides wile Mummy cleened the chikkin howse and Star did wutever dum thang Star does.

Ah wut a loverly day.

And then JAKPOT! I finded sum yummy yummy chikkin eggs on the grownd!!

Mummy sez Wut iz you doing over thar Dozer? in 3... 2... 1...

Natcherally its finders keepers round these parts so I finded and I keeped these delishuss eggs!

That is until Mummy sed hay wate a sekund ware are those fake eggs frum the chikkin howse?!?

She did not beleeve me wen I sed oh hay Mummy I jest finded them like this.

Mebbe there are sum bigger holes on the uther side. Mebbe not. I aint sayin.

I meen everybuddy noes baby chikkins come out of the eggs throo them little holes. Dont aks me ware them baby chikkins is. That is a mistery of life!

Now being a dawg I cannot reed but I did aks them chikkins wut is writed on the eggs.

WELL!!! If they sez REEL EGG on them wut wuz I sposed to think they wuz?!?

I am purty shore I have a very good lawsoot here cause that is called Falls Advertizing!!!

Dozer, you dummy, they didn't even smell like real eggs.

Hoppy Easter!

Well hi everybuddy I jest wanted to wish yall a hoppy Easter!

We is having nice weather here and this is wut I have bin up to. It is not very eksiting at all!

You kin hear burds skweeking in the bakgrownd of this moovee. Those burds is called grackles and they is very very noisy!! And here in Teksus they is everyware!

I hopes you is all having sum nice wether but if you is not hay move to Teksus!

But only fer this munth. You will not like it nekst munth. It will be hot and awful!

Hoppy Easter frum yer pals Dozer and Star and all them chikkens!!

NOOO!!! SNOW!!! Plus sum pitchers frum the 2004 snow!

Well folks yesterday wuz a teribull day fer me cause we had SNOW! This is the furst time in a zillion yeers that we have had snow. Mummy camed home frum werk early yesterday and she werked at home cause of the snow. She sez that that is cause in Teksus nobuddy knows how to drive in snow.

It wuz the furst time Star and Sweet Pea had ever seed snow before.

OMG YUM!!! Oh no wait a second what are you giving me?

 I have seed snow before so this is my sekund time seeing it and I do not think it is a big deel.

Ppftht I duz not like snow.

But yes we had to stand around and hyumur Mummy wile she taked pitchers and throwed balls of snow at us. I did not chase the snow cause I knowed it wuz not a reel ball. But Star who is very very stoopid chased the snowball every singul time hahahaha!!!

After a wile the snow started going away. That is cause this is Teksus.

Then at long last Mummy sed we must go insides cause everythang wuz gettin all wet and muddy.

My favrite part of the day wuz this part.

Space heeter fer the win!!!

Now here is a very very speshul treet fer you. It is sum old pitchers of the last time it snowed here in Teksus where I live!!!

Mummy sez this day wuz called Febuary 14 2004 so I wuz only three yeers old! This is the furst time I ever seed snow. It wuz in the middul of the nite and all the naybors wuz outsides playing in the snow fer sum crazy reesun.

I tryed to eskape the snow by jumping out of it but I could not git out of it!

Then I tryed to eskape by running away but I could not run away ether!

Old Lady Dawg jest stood there and did not move.

Interestingly Mummy and Daddy had bringed home a foster baby dawg this time wen it snowed too.

Foster baby dawg Puppy also seed snow fer the furst time.

I tasted the snow a little bit and it wuz cold and yukky.

You kin see in these pitchers that there wuz green grass everywheres under the snow. That is cause it wuz nice warm Teksus wether before it snowed and we thinked it wuz gonna be spring time soon! Also this snow melted away jest as fast as yesterdays snow. It wuz gone by the next day.

Yep we dont git snow very ofen but wen we do it shore is a BIG DEEL!