Well my pal Tucker tagged me fer a meme called Seven Reesuns Why I Am Awsum. Aktually it is not called that but I figger if it has a titul like that then I does not have to eksplane the rools rite?

So without enny further ado here are my seven reesuns:

1. I have a blak belt in Pathetik Face.
2. I am always a Very Good Dawg.
3. I am Very Good despite the temtashuns that my evel roommate Star sets before me.
4. I have a wikkid skar on my leg frum fiting off a lejion of ninja hedjhogs or so I am tolled (I dont remember cause I thinks I wuz beserking at the time).
5. I keeps the maleman frum braking into our howse by barking reel loud. But the pitza guy is welcom enny time!!
6. My sooper cool nikname in ajility wuz “TunnelBuster.” Gess why I does not do ajility ennymore.
7. The most importent reeson of all: My Mummy sez so.

Okay now of corse I have to pass this meme on to seven of my pals so I will choose these seven pals in randum order:

1. Honey
2. Addie and Lucie and Hailey
3. Brownie
4. Mina and/or Celeste
5. Woodrow, Sweetie, and MJ
6. Enny or all of the Prairie Dogs
7. Quizz

Okay now lets see if Mummy has taked enny cute pitchers of me lately…

Oh well aktually this wun is a slitely blurry pitcher of me rite before I kinda barfed a little in my mouth and I thinks it is posibull I wuz drunked.

You see I wuz not having a good day cause wen I wuz outsides I stepped in sum dawg poo prolly Stars that evel dawg and Mummy wuz mad cause I did not notiss and I walked in the howse and then I had to have my feets bathed by Angry Mummy.

Then after that I goed back outsides and finded a delishuss froot on the grownd called a cantalope and I eated an awful lot of it but it turned out that cantalope wuz a bit rotty. So I camed back in the howse with oranje stikky feets and an upsetted tummy and Angry Mummy had to bath my feets agin!

And after that cause I wuz not feeling good then wen Star getted all happy and dancey in my face bout sumthang stoopid I gived her the bitey face and tolled her off cause she is TOO DANG CHEERFULL and fer sum reeson that did not sit well with Mummy and I had to go to Time Out where I could sober up a bit.

But all of that does not cancel out the number 2 reeson why I am awsum.

The End!

Well I getted a pakage todays and guess what it wuz. It wuz a present frum my pal Addie! My Mummy sed I getted to open it myself. And I did!

At first I keeped giving the pakage to Mummy cause I thinked that would be faster. But she insisted so finally I went for it.

I pulled out a delishus treat first. Mummy sed hey wait Dozer there is plastik on it so let me remove that.

Then I went back to see if there wuz more in the pakage. If you are pashent you will see my secret tekneek for getting thangs out of pakages. Yes it is called the Head Shove.

Guess what there wuz a BALL!!! Oh yes I had to stop opening that pakage and play with that BALL right away.

After I maked shore the ball would fit in my toy box (it did) then I decides to check the pakage again. And guess wut there wuz another treat and a crinklee toy!

But first before I could eated the treats Mummy made me sit fer this pitcher.

Thank you Addie!! Okay Mummy now gimme a treat.

After all this excitement I eated the treats and made myself sicky. Those wuz good times yep.

Gosh I cant get the mail peoples to leave my Mummys paper box alone!

Ohmigosh a suspishus woman drived the white car and touched my Mummys paper box today! I was so suprised I didnt even bark. So even though in the past I skeered the mailman but now it seems theres lots of suspishus peoples to touch the box so even if I bark everyday and skeer them all therell still be more and more. Plus Mummy looked out the window with me and sed oh yay the mailmans here (yes I know it was a mailwoman but Mummy just says mailman even if it is a woman) and she petted me and tolled me I wuz a good dog for not barking and she waved her hand at the mailwoman too like she waves at my gramma and my Daddy and the peoples next door and other peoples she likes. So anyways now I think I wont bark anymore or maybe just bark real quiet cause I still think peoples who touch my Mummys stuff is suspishus and maybe one day Mummy will say oh Dozer you wuz right about that bad mail person he or she messed up my special paper box if only I had listened to you here is a treat for being so cute and perfect.

I knows when to trust peoples cause I am friends with anybodys who throw balls for me to catch. Also I am friends with peoples who give me treats especially when Mummy takes me to a place called a bank drive thru sometimes I get yummy treats from bank peoples. And none of those suspicious mail peoples do not do anything nice for me so they must be up to no good.

Well that mail man didnt come today so I guess I did a good job skeering him off! Mummy didnt seem to notice though so I didnt get any treats. Well the safety of my Mummy’s stuff comes first thats what makes me a good dog.

What am I saying okay okay I was doing it for the treats!

Mummy theres a suspishus man!

Today Mummy left the curtain open and said enjoy some sun and I sawed a strange man in a little white car touching that mysterious box in the front yard. Well I know Mummy and Daddy luv that box cause they go out there every day to look at it and sometimes it gives them papers that they put through a noisy machine to make tiny paper pieces.

So I tolled Mummy hey Mummy look at that man looking at your special paper box dont worry Ill scare him away from it! And gosh Mummy wasnt happy she said Dozer dont bark you dummy thats just the mailman and hes gonna go away in a minute even if you dont bark. Well I thought fine maybe so but Im gonna growl real quiet anyways and you wait and see if my terrible growl dont scare that mailman off for good! I bet he wont come back ever again!

Well Mummy sure pretended like she didnt care about that suspishus mailman but after the mailman was gone I saw her went out and check on her special paper box just to be sure he didnt mess it up.